MAN PEES IN IRS ELEVATOR, IRS MAKES FEDERAL CASE OUT OF IT

Because we are tired, and it has been a long and stressful week, we bring you more evidence that the Internal Revenue Service has no sense of humor. From The Smoking Gun:

“A Michigan man was actually named yesterday in a U.S. District Court complaint charging him with urinating in the freight elevator of an Internal Revenue Service building in Detroit. According to the document, Michael Hicks relieved himself in the lift "on numerous occasions" in late-2007…”

How did the IRS ascertain the identity of said urinator you ask? DNA testing perhaps? No, my friends. As if you did not think the Internal Revenue Service was Orwellian enough already, “a federal agent installed surveillance cameras in two freight elevators”.

But why make a federal case out of a simple piss? The damages of course:

"Hicks' urination caused the IRS to incur a deep cleaning expense of $4,626.25 within and underneath freight elevator #1," reported Special Agent Delmaria Scott (who is no doubt now the laughing stock of the Detroit Field Office as the agent who solved 'the great urine caper'--at least for the next few days).

But what could the punishment possibly be in such as case? We are dealing with the Federal Government, remember?

“Hicks, who was charged with damaging government property, faces a maximum of ten years in prison.”

In other words the same punishment as for theft from a bank, savings and loan, or credit union. (Title 18, section 2113 of the United States Code.)

Yikes!

It's enough to make a person cry "Uncle". (Get it? Uncle? Never mind.)

Hat tip: Above the Law.

PHIL SPECTOR SENTENCING TODAY-SPECTOR MIGHT BE 87 BEFORE PAROLE ELIGIBLE

UPDATE-12:22 PM
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We are watching the sentencing live on CNN.com. Phil Spector has been sentenced to 19 years to life in prision for the alleged murder of Lana Clarkson.

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Music legend Phillip Spector, who has been an inmate in the Los County jail since his April 13, 2009 conviction for the alleged second degree murder of Lana Clarkson, will be sentenced today.

The 15 years to life sentence is mandatory.

Trial judge Larry Fidler, who also reportedly queered a backroom deal with prosecutors and lawyers for fugitive movie producer Roman Polanski for his surrender in the United States on decades old sex charges by reportedly insisting that Polanski’s sentencing be televised, can tack as much as 10 years onto the sentence as an enhancement for Spector’s use of a firearm.

The sentencing will be televised, as was the first trial that ended after six months in a mistrial after the jury failed to reach a verdict. Spector will be wearing one of his custom suits and not jail garb however.

If Fidler exceeds the four year enhancement requested by the prosecution and adds the full 10 years to the 15 year to life sentence for murder, barring a successful appeal Spector would be 87 years old before he was eligible for parole with no guarantee that he would be paroled at that point. A 15-to-life sentence for murder is indeterminate, meaning that the Parole Board will ultimately decide when and if Spector is released after becoming parole eligible.

Spector will not be speaking at the hearing today, but the mother of the alleged murder victim Lana Clarkson (who is suing Spector for wrongful death) will have plenty to say at the sentencing. Mrs. Clarkson is expected to read from a prepared victim impact statement.

Phil Spector’s publicist Hal Lifson told the Los Angeles times yesterday that Spector was "very disappointed" in the trial’s outcome, but was looking forward to having his case heard by a higher court.

"Everything is now being focused on a successful appeal”, Lifson told the LAT.

Spector’s legal defense team, which includes trial lawyer Doron Weinberg and appellate specialist Dennis Riordan, is so convinced that trial judge Larry Fidler has it in for their client that the defense did not even bother to file a motion for a new trial asking Fidler to set aside the verdict. Fidler has already denied a defense request that Spector remain on bail pending sentencing.

As discussed at length in this blog, Spector has some very compelling grounds for appeal, which is expected to focus on Fidler’s decision to allow the prosecution to introduce testimony from five women who all testified that Spector menaced them with guns, related instructional error by the trial court, and prosecutorial misconduct related to both prosecutors literally demonizing Spector based on that evidence—as well as arguing that the evidence showed Spector harbored the propensity to kill woman.

The decision by Fidler to admit the evidence from the five women as well as from a private cop working security for a private party (who testified that Spector told him a decade ago that all women deserved a bullet in the head) was controversial because the alleged gun incidents took pace many years ago (some 20 years ago), some of the women had drug and alcohol issues well as criminal convictions, and most of the woman sold their Spector “gun stories” to the tabloids before talking to police.

Only one woman contemporaneously reported her alleged incident with Spector to police, but also told police at the time that Spector “pistol whipped” her, yet according to the police officer who responded to her hotel suite that night she had no visible injuries or marks. Spector was not arrested that night.

The evidence from the five women also provided the theme for the prosecution closing arguments wherein Spector was continually referred to as a “demon”, a “maniac”, a murder waiting to happen, and a game of “Russian Roulette”—where the first five women were lucky enough to get the empty chamber, but Lana Clarkson got the bullet.

Under California law, in the rare instances where the alleged prior bad acts by a defendant share and the charged offense share a characteristics that are so similar they can be described as a “signature” and is therefore admissible on the limited issues of “identity” or lack of accident, the evidence must be so limited by the trial court, and the prosecution may not argue the evidence to show a propensity on the part of the defendant to commit the crime or that he is a person of bad character.

The Court of Appeal may agree with Spector’s defense team that epithets like “demon” and homicidal “maniac” fall into the latter category of impermissible character argument.

Once Spector is sentenced, he is expected to remain in custody for several months until the Court of Appeal can consider a motion that Spector be released on bail pending appeal.

PHIL SPECTOR DEFENSE COUNSEL SEEKS REDUCED SENTENCE

Phil Spector defense attorney Doron Weinberg said in a sentencing memorandum filed Wednesday that Spector isn't disputing the mandated sentence of 15 years to life in prison for his second-degree murder conviction, but is requesting the lowest possible enhancement for Spector’s alleged use of a firearm—three years—instead of the four years requested by the prosecution.

ANOTHER FLUNKING LAW STUDENT SUES SCHOOL-- NEW ENGLAND SCHOOL OF LAW SUED UNDER ADA

On October 2, 2007, we brought you the story of Lisa Dawn Rittenhouse—a Southern Illinois University School of Law student who flunked out due to low grades, then sued SIU School of Law claiming the law school discriminated against her in violation of the American’s with Disabilities Act because she suffers from "Attention Span Deficit Disorder." (Rittenhouse also alleged in the suit that she “was a qualified applicant for readmission in that in her Petition and her record of performance she demonstrated she had the capability of achieving a 2.00 grape (sic) point average".)

Now, via the Minn Lawyer Blog, we learn of a copy cat case out of New England.

Seva Brodsky, a flunked out law student at the New England School of Law, sued his former alma mater.

As stated by the Federal District Court:

“This case arises out of the plaintiff's expulsion from law school for obtaining a failing grade in two courses. The plaintiff asserts that the law school, by refusing to readmit him, violated the Americans with Disabilities Act (“the ADA”), the Rehabilitation Act, the Massachusetts Equal Rights Act (“MERA”) and Amendment Article 114 of the Massachusetts Constitution's Declaration of Rights (“Article 114”). He also brings claims for breach of contract and violation of the Massachusetts Consumer Protection Act.”

The Court ordered most of Brodsky’s claims dismissed, but allowed the core claim of discrimination under the ADA to remain.

The Court pointed out that:

“In his complaint, Brodsky asserts that he suffers from a ‘mental impairment which substantially limits [his] ability to learn.’”

As we callously pointed out in connection with Rittenhouse’s similar allegations “[QUERY IF MENTAL RETARDATION WOULD NOT ALSO FIT THAT DEFINITION?]”

However, after noting that properly alleging a case under the ADA was different that proving the allegations at trial, the District Court allowed copycat Brodsky’s suit to stand. (The Court noted that “In particular, it is less than clear how Brodsky's poor “executive functioning” and memory abilities impacted his performance in two law school classes but not others.”) (See Brodsky v. New England School of Law--- F.Supp.2d ----, 2009 WL 1290674 (D.Mass.,2009).)

As for the spelling challenged litigation pioneer Lisa Dawn Rittenhouse, her case against SIU quietly settled in 2008.

Since trial courts are not likely to be as accommodating as law schools under the ADA when dealing with lawyers that suffer from a ‘mental impairment which substantially limits [their] ability to learn’, we wonder if allowing flunking students back into law school is doing either them or their future clients any favors.

But maybe that is just us.

BIG LAW ATTORNEY CHARGED IN BIKER CLUB RACKETEERING INDICTMENT

“My philosophy is to go the extra mile for my clients. I have an internal and relentless drive to assist my clients in networking and expanding their business in new global markets.”

--Tim A. Attalla, of Counsel, Miller, Canfield, Paddock, and Stone, PLC

According to U.S. Attorney Terrence Berg and a “sweeping” 35 count federal court RICO indictment handed down today, attorney Attalla carried that philosophy to an extreme—by allegedly assisting a biker club in which he was a member in a conspiracy to possess and distribute illegal drugs, the Detroit Free Press is reporting.

According to the Detroit Free Press article, Attalla functioned as “general counsel” to the improbably named Highwaymen Motorcycle Club in its alleged efforts to engage in the distribution of illegal narcotics. The Associated Press is reporting that 35-count indictment against 74 members of the club includes charges of attempted murder and cocaine and steroid distribution—among other charges.

Miller Canfield Paddock and Stone is a Detroit, Michigan based international law firm with offices in 17 cities around the world, including Chicago, New York, Shanghai, Monterey (Mexico), Toronto, and Warsaw.

Attalla was appointed yesterday by Detroit's mayor to a role in the city's crisis turnaround team.

Since Attalla is a well respected business lawyer and not a criminal attorney, he seems an improbable choice to guide a cocaine distribution network.

Could the downturn in the legal market have led to this? Or is Attalla simply an innocent weekend biker caught in a very wide Justice Department net?

Stay tuned folks.

Hat tip: Martha Neil at the ABA Journal.

SITTING FEDERAL COURT JUDGE SENTENCED TO 3 YEARS IN PRISON—SAMUEL KENT TO BE IMPEACHED

We previously reported on Federal District Court Judge Samuel Kent’s alleged inability to keep his hands off his female staff here here and here—charges that Judge Kent adamantly denied at the time when his former female case manager sued the jurist for serially groping her while drunk, all the while telling coworkers that the woman wanted the “affair”.

Now, in the ultimate reversal of fortune, the sitting Federal Court judge—the first to be convicted of a sex crime—will be spending 33 months in a federal prison in accordance with his sentencing today, as reported in the Houston Chronicle. The disgraced sitting jurist must report to prison on June 15 to begin his sentence.

According to the Houston Chronicle article, Cathy McBroom—the primary object of Kent’s sexual attention and the one-time Galveston case manager for Kent who made the formal complaint that led to the judge’s criminal conviction had the last word:

“Being molested and groped by a drunken giant is not my idea of an affair,” McBroom said. She said she lost her marriage, her Galveston position, sleep, self-esteem and more and asked Kent be sentenced so he and others will remember it.”

Donna Wilkerson, Kent’s secretary, said Kent sexually and psychologically abused her starting her fifth day on the job, the Chronicle reported.

Prosecutors said Kent, known for his wit and his willingness to berate attorneys and some criminal defendants, had created a “culture of fear” in Galveston, where he was the lone federal trial judge for about 17 years before being brought to Houston after a reprimand from the judicial council for sexual harassment.

In the meantime, although Kent continues to receive his judicial salary, Congressional impeachment proceedings will likely begin today, the Chronicle is reporting.

“Unless Judge Samuel Kent immediately resigns, we intend to introduce a resolution jointly (Tuesday) to commence an inquiry into whether grounds exist to impeach him and remove him from office,” said a joint statement issued by Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich., chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, and Rep. Lamar Smith, R-San Antonio, the committee’s ranking Republican member.

Kent left the courthouse holding hands with his wife, Sarah. Awwww, how sweet.

BUCOLIC GREEK VILLAGE “ZONIANA” ALLEGED CENTER OF EUROPEAN HASHISH TRADE

A resident of Zoniana seems bemused by a 2007 Special Forces police raid on the village

By Blogonaut
May 9, 2009

Seated for dinner Wednesday in a waterfront taverna in Heraklion (the largest city on the island of Crete), all eyes at our large table tracked the newly arriving diners to their table: Men decked out in black slacks and black open shirts, their women dolled up in a kind of Spice Girls caricature—their brand new black-on-black Mercedes sedan parked conspicuously on the sidewalk in front of the expensive traditional eatery.

The sotto voce explanation delivered by one of the locals at our table: These were residents of a small but notorious village 30 kilometers outside of town which is reputed to be at the center of the European hashish trade—who wear all black, settle their personal grievances with a gun, and are rolling in Euros. So many Euros in fact that the former 'sheepherders' in the sleepy little village of Zoniana, Crete are reputed to have several influential members of the Greek Parliament on their payroll.

Whether the latter allegation is true or not—it is vehemently denied by the Justice Ministry—in November of 2007 someone tipped off an alleged gang leader residing in the sleepy but resolutely feisty village—and a convoy of 15 police vehicles about to search the gang leader’s residence for drugs, guns, and cash was ambushed from the cliffs above with automatic weapons (over 1,000 rounds were fired) leaving one police officer in a coma--before the convoy even entered the village.

Zoniana was thus catapulted from an insular village of 1,500 residents with a fiercely independent reputation (no local government was ever formed there—and no tax official, utility meter reader, or local policeman would dare set foot there) onto the front pages of the Greek national newspapers.

To be sure, Zonianans were always regarded as a feisty lot, but prior to the ambush of that police convoy, which included a Federal prosecutor, the gun violence for which the town was known was primarily confined to one local dispatching another over the occasional family feud—a personal vendetta and not a cause for concern for nonresidents.

All of that changed with the November 5, 2007 ambush—resulting in 120 Greek Special forces descending on the town, and finding evidence of a wide ranging international drug and firearms dealing operation, not to mention the remnants of ATM machines ripped from their housings in nearby towns and subsequently looted of their cash.

On April 29, 2009, 52 residents of the notorious village went to trial in Athens on charges ranging from attempted murder during the police ambush, to drug trafficking; to money laundering (one defendant reportedly had over 1.5 million Euros in his checking account, two more had a cumulative 15 million Euros in the bank, and a third 250 thousand Euros in his refrigurator—not bad for self professed 'sheepherders'). As of this writing that trial is ongoing.

But still, many believe that the 52 on trial are all relatively minor players in the drug and gun trade, and that the true kingpins will escape punishment:

Said one village resident to The Daily Telegraph:

"Now things are better, and the families that were causing trouble are no longer doing so," he said. "But would I ever tell a soul in the outside world about who the troublemakers are? No."

Other Zonianans assert that the town has gotten a bum rap:

“Today, when we go elsewhere in Crete, people see our black shirts, realize we are from Zoniana and think we are bad people,” said one young man to The Daily Telegraph. “But it is part of our tradition, and we will not stop it.”

Still other observers believe that Zoniana is simply a victim of its own centuries-long history of harboring fugitives, most of which has been an honorable one. A cave not far away is said to be where the young Zeus hid from his murderous father Kronos, who killed his first five children at birth in a bid to prevent him overthrowing him as ruler of the Greek gods.

In addition, although gun ownership is illegal in Greece the government turns a blind eye, accepting it as a part of traditional Cretan culture. After all, Crete has a very long history of resisting outside political influences, from Turkish occupation to the Nazi's—and both invading governments found out the hard way just how fiercely independent (and well armed) Cretans are.

Regardless of the outcome of this Greek crime drama though, it would appear that every region needs its occasional high-profile criminal prosecution, and that the Greek island of Crete is no exception.